The only happiness I feel anymore is when I’m stoned but afterwards I feel worse than I ever have and want to kill myself. I ride an intense high before sinking to rock bottom. No one knows I’m bad again, no one knows I’m doing worse than I was before. No one knows that I’m hurting more now than I ever was.
In case you didn’t already know this, I am very socially anxious. And no, not shy. Sure, that’s what it looks like most of the time but I wish I was just shy. I was this was just pre-show jitters. I mean even talking with my friends still makes me uncomfortable and anxious. In the
Okay. Just breathe. This past month has just been a mess. Has it been a month? I’m not quite sure, it’s certainly been a good number of weeks I feel but my perception of time is kind of a bit off right now so I can’t say for sure. I’ve talked in my posts before